THE ALBUQUERQUE TURKEY

THE DEADLY CELL PHONE LAW

2009-04-22T17:33:00.000-07:00

We've got a law here in Albuquerque banning the use of hand held phones while driving your car.

Of course it's one of those "Optional Enforcement Laws" that politicians like to think up in order to get votes from both sides of a controversial issue. And cops use it to pull over cars where they think they might a bigger bust. (Cops like big busts. Makes 'em feel important to have big busts on their records.)

You can tell it's an asinine law, because it does not have real teeth in it (small fine) and no one believes their attention will be distracted from driving while they're arguing with the wife, or yelling at one of the kids, or trying to remember that joke they heard. You know, the things we used to talk about at the dinner table. Where we couldn't get in an accident (well, except for dropping our forks and getting mashed potatoes all over the floor).

Be sure you click on the headline of this article. It'll take you to a new world of drollery.

RICHARDSON AND THE ILLEGALS

2007-05-20T10:41:00.000-07:00

Here are some quotes from Bill Richardson:
"Think for a moment about the quality of life for an undocumented worker. No protection from unscrupulous employers. No job benefits. No health care, no pension, no Social Security, no workers compensation, no Medicare or disability insurance.
"In order to find work they must either use someone else's Social Security number or make one up.
"Most undocumented immigrants come to the United States to work low-wage jobs which few Americans want, such as picking crops or cleaning toilets. Our economy creates demand for at least 400,000 new low-skill illegal immigrants per year, but only about 140,000 are allowed to enter legally. When demand and legal supply are so out of line, the pressures for illegal immigration are enormous.
"Yes, we are talking about people who knowingly have broken the law. And they should be held accountable, like all lawbreakers. But we also are talking about people who are economic refugees, and who contribute significantly to America's economic success and to the economic and political stability of their home countries -- with the billions in remittances they send home to their families every year.
"Despite the campaign rhetoric, I refuse to believe that most House Republicans really favor trying to round up 11 million people, separating them from their children who are citizens, and deporting them en masse.
This is after I implemented a policy to grant drivers licenses without regard to legal residency. As a result of this policy we got the percentage of uninsured drivers down from 31 percent to 12 percent.
"New Mexicans want our roads to be safe and the driver who rear-ends them to be insured. We want our highway cops to focus on catching drunk drivers, not illegal immigrants.
"Al Qaeda took decades to find a way to hit America hard and terrorists are still out there, probing, plotting, and preparing for their next attack. I know that full well from my diplomatic experience. If there's a way for them to get into this country and attack us again they will find it. We need to stop them, and border security is essential to doing so.
"This is what we should do: immediately put enough National Guard troops at the border to keep it covered until we can secure it with Border Patrol officers. That should take no longer than three years. If it takes another year, let's do it.
"Third, we should give the Border Patrol the benefit of the best surveillance equipment available to our military. And, as suggested by Texas Congresswoman Sheila Jackson Lee, a leader on immigration issues, we should implement a system of "informant visas" and cash rewards for aliens who provide law enforcement with information on human traffickers and document forgers.
"Under present conditions, the Mexicans just don't have enough incentive to give us the help we need at the border. Mexico needs to do more to stem the flow. But if we create a reasonable guest worker program and provide a path to legalization for illegal immigrants already here -- as I will discuss in a moment -- there is every reason to expect Mexico to do its part to create more jobs in Mexico and to help us with border security.
"Two weeks ago I met with Mexican President Calderon and he told me he is willing to do work with us to stop illegal immigration -- if the United States is willing to address the crisis honestly and realistically along with him."

So says Bill Richardson, New Mexico's contribution to the Presidential race.

First, he tries to get us to fell sorry for the illegal alien. He ignores the fact that most legal New Mexicans have no pension, no health care, no medicare, no disability insurance, very little in the way of workers benefits.

He ignores the truth that unemployed Americans will indeed, pick crops or clean toilets to earn some money.

"Our economy creates a demand for 400,000 illegal low-skilled immigrants a year? Oh, Bill. We have many unemployed, low-skilled drop outs and illiterate legals every year from our Government controlled schools. More than 400,000.

The fact that the illegals steal someone else's identity doesn't seem to bother him at all. Yes, Governator, let's help the illegals use someone else's Social Security number. And how about their bank account too?

His estimate of 11 million illegal aliens is way too low according to "best guesses" I have seen on the internet.

He implemented giving illegal aliens driver's licences. Did you teach them to read our road rules and pass a written test too? And the idea that our uninsured motorist rate dropped from this is so much bull hockey. What made it drop so much was MVD having all insurance companies send them precoded lists of insurance on all vehicles in New Mexico. If you don't get insurance, you get a letter from MVD pointing out that you will loose your vehicle if it is seen on a public street. Now, THAT'S motivation.

I fail to understand how an illegal worker who sends all his earnings back to Mexico contributes to America's success in anything. Oh yeah, he wants to hold them "accountable". That sounds like Potomac double talk meaning "we'll slap them on the wrist and forget they are criminals". And then he admits that BILLIONS are being sent out of the country. Billions earned illegally. If I remember my economics classes correctly, that makes us a debtor nation.

All of a sudden he's talking about Al Qaeda. That's called a scare tactic. And his "diplomatic experience"? Uh, yes, Governator. Like your talking to Gabon about not killing their citizens? And let's not forget the mass of bones you came back with from Vietnam. All six bodies. And in North Korea? You remember, where the nice Koreans gave you a tour of the American ship they captured?

Then he tries to tug at our heart strings by saying that forcing them back to their homeland will separate parents from children and deporting them en masse. (Gee, look. He knows some French.) And he is well aware that that we do NOT send the parents of children back to their foreign country if the kids are born here. The illegals know it, too. Maybe they should tell him about this.

Next is his idea of putting enough of the National Guard along our leaky borders. Well, sir, what National Guard do you mean? The ones doing the fighting Iraq? Or the skeleton forces left? "Even if it takes a year. Or three". Or maybe twenty?

And we need to spend more money on surveillance equipment. Some of that money that's being used in Iraq, Governator? Or just raise taxes? That alone should get you the nomination. Well, that and getting some illegals to rat on their countrymen. I can hear it now: "Senor, my father and mother are here illegally. They live there. Where's my money?" Whew.

According to Bill, the Mexicans don't want to help patrol the border, either. I wouldn't either if they were sending billions of American dollars back to my country. And he wants to create a "reasonable" guest worker plan. Which we already have in place. If we will not only forgive and forget, but legalize, all these people who ignore our laws, he expects the Mexican government to do its part to create more jobs in Mexico and help us with border security. That's one of the funniest lines I've read in a long time.

Mr. Richardson met with Mexican President Calderone. Who told him Mexico is willing to cooperate in stopping illegals... IF the U.S. will discuss this crisis (his word, not mine) honestly and realistically with him. Why do I feel that what that means is more billions going to Mexico from the American taxpayer? It appears that our Governator has forgotten words that helped create this nation: "Millions for Defence. Not one penny for tribute."
Good Luck, Governator.

2007-03-18T13:25:00.000-07:00

A Child's View of Life. A six-year-old boy told his father he wanted to marry the little girl across the street. The father, being modern and well-schooled in handling children, hid his smile behind his hand.

"That's a serious step," he said. "Have you thought it out completely?" "Yes," his young son answered . "We can spend one week in my room and the next in hers. It's right across the street, so I can run home if I get scared of the dark."

"How about transportation?" the father asked. "I have my wagon, and we both have our tricycles," the little boy answered.The boy had an answer to every question the father raised. Finally, in exasperation, his dad asked, "What about babies? When you're married, you're liable to have babies, you know." "We've thought about that, too," the little boy replied. "We're not going to have babies. Every time she lays an egg, I'm going to step on it!"

CASINOS, CASINOS, CASINOS

2007-03-10T12:19:00.000-08:00

I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position. - Mark Twain
It is good to see that the American Indian is finally getting some of it back. Albuquerque is ideally positioned to get you to umpteen casinos (some with hotels and golf courses, one with fishing available) in less than two hours. Many only minutes from where you are visiting. Now, please don't think of them as rivaling Foxwoods or a Vegas Strip hotel, but they're sure a leg up on most of the downtown Las Vegas hotels.
I want to digress for a minute. I have never seen toilets like the ones in the Fremont hotel in Las Vegas. We stayed there for a couple of free nights and my Wild Thing discovered it first. The toilets in the bathroom of our room were, well, different. First of all, they are set at an angle in the corner. Ok, no big deal. Until it's time to flush. There is abolutely no way to use that lever unless you put the cover down. Not the seat. The lid. Only place I've ever seen with that "feature".
Our Indian casinos all have the automatic flush johns. Thank heavens.
Most of the slots are "paper" payouts. You get a bar coded ticket when you cash out (good luck) and you can turn that in for cash or play another slot. The table games are equal to those in casinos all over the States.
The food is excellent in some, boring in others. One of them has a little diner next to their all-you-can-eat. That diner serves the biggest (and one of the very best) green chili burritos in the state. You need to be hungry to finish it.
For those who smoke, the reservation land has Indian smoke shops where you don't pay federal nor state taxes. And don't let anyone tell you you must pay a sales tax. We have never had a sales tax. What is here is a "gross receipts tax". That is levied on the seller, not the buyer. On the other hand, most all sellers pass it on to you. Due to the way it is passed back to the state, they make a profit on it. Indian lands do not collect that tax, either.
Enjoy yourself in The Land Of Enchantment.

THE NATIONAL ATOMIC MUSEUM

2007-03-10T11:53:00.000-08:00

I couldn't find a picture of an exploding nuclear (pay attention to the spelling George W.) bomb so just imagine one. We've got the only Atomic Museum in the world here. The reason for this is that the very first bomb was exploded on one of our deserts, White Sands by name. And the people who live near ground zero do not glow in the dark. At least not now.
But they don't have The Museum, either. Those people had to settle for Roswell where the BEMs (Bug Eyed Monsters) were supposed to have crash landed.
Albuquerque has The Museum. It used to be on Kirtland Air Force Base and if you were really interested in it, admission was free. It was moved off base after 9-11, but the powers that be didn't take the free land they were offered. That would have saved us all a buck or two. Instead of that, it was moved to our old town (Albuquerque goes back to the 1600's and the vicious conquistadors). I've always had a tough time figuring out how the twentieth century fits in with the seventeenth century. Now they charge admission to tour it. I mean, how many visitors (other than the Japanese and terrorists) want to pay to see photographs? And mockups? I guess somebody thought that the balloon visitors would pay to see it.
If you're interested, and you should be, it's in the area where Indians (and non-Indians) sell silver and turqouise jewelry, there's a bunch of good restaurants there, too.

THE LAND OF ENCHANTMENT

2007-03-10T11:38:00.000-08:00

Take your choice. Our winter was ridiculous this year. More snow than we have ever had. Plenty of water for our water table. Both of these pictures fit well. Back in the nineteen seventies, I was told by a native "if you don't like our weather, wait fifteen minutes." He was right. Or almost. We had one spell when midweek temperatures were in the 50's and the weekends brought snow in big quantities. That's what you get for living in the high desert and suffering global warming. Sigh.

Our state motto is "The Land Of Enchantment." At one time it was "The Sunshine State". But I think some of our influential citizens moved to Florida and we sold that motto to them. I have no idea how much we got for it. (Albuquerque is known as the Duke City. Don't ask.) On the other hand, we still get more annual sunshine than they do. Nyah, nyah. And we don't have hurricanes. Nor an ocean. But as soon as that big earthquake hits, we may have beach front property for sale.